Dark Urine More Condition_symptoms [JE Fandom] How to Catch Turtles with Vinegar

Title: How To Catch Turtles With Vinegar

Fandom: Johnny's Entertainment (Arashi, KAT-TUN, cameos by NEWS)

Pairings: Jun / Kame

Wordcount: 6.500

Genre: Humour, romance. Includes silly bets.

Summary: Getting drunk with Jin and Yamapi is always a bad idea, But you realize how much of June a bad idea it is When He ends up betting I Can Get Into Massu's pants. The only problem is That everybody wants Massu. Except him.

Now, if only Kame Would stop showing up uninvited ...

Author's Notes: Written for zhein pathos for the jerainbowbridge exchange.

Thanks for my betas, and sha_chan . Cheerleaders from Hell and evil editors at the Same Time!



weird It Might Have Been, But Wishes He Was working in June. Or sleeping. Or at a date. Or in the middle the sea with Ohno. Anywhere but

Surrounded by four drunken guys I Knew well enough to realize It Was Exactly That Time of the night When They ganged up on him. Already down And Takes WAS, snoring loudly onYamapi's lap, so no chance There Was Would anybody get a sudden fit of compassion.

'A game. I want to play a game, 'Jin slurred. Pi

squinted. 'What kind of game? "

'Hm. So ... "Jin look around the table and nobody in Pointe at special - June Knew It Was But all about him. It always WAS. 'If You Were dating a member of the company ...'

The table erupted in giggles. His eyes rolled Jin. 'This is important! Let's scrap dating. If You Had to fuck Another Johnny, Who Would It Be? " Nishikido

historical stirred glass of beer And Then stared at it. 'Massu. " Yamapi

Nodder. 'Totally. Massu. " Jin

Opened His Eyes wide. 'Me too! Guys, you're so awesome! " CJune
HTMLXC lift up His head from the table. 'Massu? Would you guys fuck
Massu? Dude's straight. "
Jin started to draw on the table with an imaginary pencil. 'Exactly! So are we! So it'd Be perfect. Like ... he'd Be Understanding and shit. And he'd remember to use lube. He'd Be gentle! "

'I just think he's cuter Than the rest, "Said Ryo with a shrug.

'I just do not see it. There Are Way hotter guys in the Jimusho. "

Yamapi started to laugh and patted Jun. 'Do not you guys see it? His've hurt feelings! " Jin

crawled Towards June and Right Beside him sat. 'Oh, of course ... look, Jun, you're hot. But you're my gay friend. I can not Risk It. "

'Plus You Probably Do not take off your rings and They look painful,' Ryo quipped. June

frowned. I did take off His rings. Unless the Other Party Did not mind. 'But Even if he's nice and all, isn't I too nice? "

'So if nice is not your type, Into Then what are you? Angry bastards? Manipulative assholes? I know Several of Those. " Said Jin, leaning Towards Jun's ear.

'I bet I Tegoshi says, then. " Ryo way too loud Laughed at His own joke. Tegoshi's chick magnet WAS well-known status and Widely Wonderer about in the company, But It Still Was not That Good of a joke.

'Nah, I Probably likes Manlio Them! But Manly fashionable. And sophisticated. " The worst part

, tHoughten Jun, Yamapi's Assessment That WAS wasn't that far off from the truth.

'Oh, maybe somebody from V6? " Ryo made a pause. "Maybe everybody
from V6!" Jin
Pointe at Jun. 'So, Who Would It Be? And Do not count past dalliances. Only new ones. "

'There Are not past dalliances. And I Simply Would not. It's just a recipe for disaster. "

"Hypothetically." Wow, Yamapi Had Picked up at least some words at college.

'I do not know. I do not think about co-workers that way. "

'Boldface That's a lie! Complete bullshit. I mean, I think about everybody That Way! " Jin Said, Just Before guzzling more beer.

'Why does not That SurpI rise? " Jin

pointedly Ignore the comment and jump up on His little tirade. 'So you like guys, work with hot guys and Have Never ever fucking Considered one of Them? " June

Shrugged. 'Most of Those hot guys are straight. It's Better Not to events contemplar it. "

'Then the gay ones! Joushima? Miyake? Kame? " Said Jin.

'Miyake is hot, I Can Give You That. " The Possibilities Considered in June. Joushima WAS ... well,
Joushima . But Kame ... 'So Kame is gay? " Did June
Need to see Jin's cocky smile - I Could feel the smugness emanate from Jin's voice. 'He's single, in case you're interested. And Probably Needing to get laid as much as you do. " June

huffed. I Hated comments about whether or not I've Had Lately Had sex. They Were invasive and it Reminded him That, in fact-I did Need to get laid. 'Well, he's so Obvious That I Thought He Was Actually maybe just straight But very stupid. " Ryo

hit the table with historical glass. 'Because nobody Would you ever think are gay, I suppose. You're a paragon of manliness. "

'I'm Manlio Than Kame, anyway. " Jin

historical stroked chin. 'I do not know, I does shaver commercials. Are Those commercials manly. "

'I Shaves? " Yamapi asked. June Had to Admit He Was curious too. I Had not much time ogling Exactly Spent at Kame - really, really - I Had Been But always surprised by His Lack of facial hair. But if I HADAsked, Jin Would Have gotten all kind of weird ideas and Jin's weird ideas Jun. Were always bad for

'He's Hariri Than you'd think. Just very adamant about Not Having a beard. "

Takes His head held up from Yamapi's lap and stared at the guys around historical littered living room. 'Who has a beard? "

'Kame. " Jin replied matter-of-factly. 'So, Here, Would You Rather Fuck Massu or June? "

Thought about it Takes For a few minutes. "I'm sorry, Jun, pero I'd go for Massu. He's cuter and You Have weird fetishes. "

'You Would not stand a chance with Massu, though. He looks straight, "June said.

'You Know What They Say, Jun. Never judge a book by historical cover. And Massu Wouldrun away from you, just like you run away from girls. "

'Shut up, Ryo. Nobody Would Do That. I'm everybody's exception. "

'I bet you can not get Into Massu's pants,' Jin Said, grinning wildly. June

smirk. 'And I bet I can. "

-

The next morning, woke up when to June, Socket WAS drooling all over Pi Kept His stomach and rubbing Against him, still asleep. The blankets on the floor Were WAS Jin and nowhere to Be Seen, But They Had not sure He Was Killed him - They Had tried Once and Jin importations Had to Be a sneaky drunk. Takes Both have pushed and Pi and got out of bed. Hangovers weekend sucked, But Were Even Worse midweek ones. I half-historical Remembered Exactly schedule and wasn't sure of how I WASgoing to survive-through the day. Probably Liberal Amounts of Coffee and releasing frustration at bandmates. His manager Eichmann

up just one minute after I finished Had Changing clothes. They Were Toma's, Because Were June's not only wrinkled and reeking of tobacco, But They Were Also Some Covered with sticky, purple Substance. Had named Jin historical 'cocktail' something like 'Funky Blanket Matter' or 'Frisky Market Chatter' and June Had Decided to Forget What It Was made of. I give out of the house, Leaving behind dirty laundry and freshly made coffee.

I Slept the whole drive to work and when to the car stopped and historical Automatically open eyes, the morning light Every crushed hope for a hangover-less day.

'Never again,' hemuttered.

I got to Arashi's dressing room in a daze, dragging His feet-through the building out of habit. That I Knew When I got there, There Would Be ready coffee, reading newspapers Would Be Sho, Nino Would Be Invading people's personal spaces and Ohno Would Be dozing off. Aiba WAS always the wildcard, though.

'Morning,' I Said I Opened the door after.

The usual chorus of voices Answered, But There Was somebody else. I Took Off His sunglasses and glanced around the room. I found the intruder leaning against a corner, with a 'New Kid in School "attitude.

'Good morning, Matsumoto-senpai. "

'Kamenashi? What are you doing here?

'Paying a visit to my senpais. We just finished Taking Some pictures nearby, so ... ' Kame fidget. He glanced nervously at Nino. 'Sorry, senpai, i have to go. I'll see you another day. " Kame

give out of the room. June crossed the room, sat down on one of Their comfy sofas - success HAD ITS perks - and frowned. 'What Was I doing here? " Sho
June
Gave a cup of coffee. 'No idea. Eichmann up with coffee and Then Some Stood in a corner. It WAS weird. Have we gotten so old kouhais Feel the Need to Pay Their Respects? " June

drank the coffee. It Was black with no sugar. 'This is delicious. Kame Brought it? " Sho Nodder and hummed with approval "in June. 'And
you're the old one. I'ma teenager and Nino is twelve. " Aiba
laughed. 'And Oh-chan is the grandpa! " Sho

His eyes rolled. 'So Aiba is the kid and I'm the responsible adult. Explains a lot. "

Nino sat on Jun's lap and put His arms around June's neck. 'What the fuck Have you gotten Into? Nishikido called me yesterday, June Said Something about a bet. " June

sat upright, Trying to get rid of Nino. 'I can not believe I have Remembers That. "

'Promised him I'd make you keep your part of the bargain. " Nino smirk and pushed June's nose tip. 'Do you realize That if you lose, you'll Have to steal one of Nakai's hats? " June

sank in the couch. 'So. Does Any Of You Have Massu's number? "

- June
checked
zipper historical again. There Was not worst first impression Than an open zipper, in historical opinion - except maybe see-through outfits. Then I combed historical historical hair with fingers and Practice Some smirks in the mirror. Were the bathrooms Lonely Sanctuaries of modern urban ills. Or at least the Sanctuaries of modern urban ills Who Worked 25 hours a day and Were Constantly Surrounded by a swarm. I lean on the mirror and enjoyed the coolness of the mirror. The silence WAS WELCOMED as well.

When somebody Open the door, I jump and tried to lean on the sink in the coolest way imaginable. If

Kamenashi's grin and Stock WAS indication, it did not work.

'Matsumoto-senpai, "Kame Said, walking Towards him.

'What's with the sudden respect? Amin SMAP or what? "

'You're old enough. Already I can see the wrinkles. " Pointing at Them

Unnecessary WAS, though. His eyes have rolled. 'See? That's the Kame I know. Before you ask, I'm fine, thank you. "

'You're not fine at all. You're nervous. I can tell. " Suddenly Realized June
historical
Were shoelaces undone and bent down to tie Them. "I'm not. Not at all. I'm just getting ready to woo Massu. " I replied from the floor.

'So You're Going Along With That stupid bet? "

'Of course I am. I'ma man of my word. "

'But they're not. Really, do you like Massu events? "

'That's utterly irrelevant. " June Said Trying Not to sound bitter, Before striding Towards the door. Kame

held out a hand. 'Eh? But I wanted to ask you about ... '
June
Turned His eyes rolled back and in the MOST visible way Could I manage. 'Send me a text! You have my number, do not you? "

'Actually ... never mind. "

His eyes rolled again in June and hurried down the hallway Towards the studio Ryo WHERE WAS NEWS Had Told him Taking Some photos for a magazine - They did work, after all. It Was His chance to make His move. Or else he'd Be in Nakai's hands and Nakai's hands soiled with the blood Were of a Thousand juniors.

've heard the studio and Massu spotted sitting on a chair. I WAS wearing some kind of polka-dotted poncho and ugly, ugly boots. Maybe I shared with Nino stylists. Approaches: a June

him and Tried to be as natural as possible.

'Hi, Masuda. "

'Matsumoto-kun? " Massu WAS smiling, But It Was a confused smile, Not an
'I Have Been struck by the beauty of a preternatural being' smile.
'Yes, The Same one! " June laughed. 'How Have you been doing? We Have not Talked much Lately, Have not we? "

'Hm, Matsumoto-kun, we've never talk, "Massu said.

'That is true, and That We Should fix, shouldn't we? " I Had sounder confident, Had not he? It Was a winning line. Nobody Could resist it. 'I Was wondering if ...'

'So how are you, Then? I guess you're working withLot, Are not You? Must be hard. "

'Eh, yes, I am. But That's not why I Came here. "

'Did you want to talk? " That's why
June
Did not like nice, sensitive guys. They made sense. That Hated June. 'Well, yes, But Not about work. "

'Then about what? "

Actually The other problem with nice guys - not fakely polite ones - Was That They Were honest. And How Could I reply to a sincere, sensible comment? 'Eh. I Heard you like food. "

Massu's phone rang. 'Oh, sorry, got to catch this! Later Can we talk? "

Could not run fast enough Massu, Yamapi and Ryo barely Could Contain Their laughter and June Could not look dignified events.

- CIf your songs
HTMLXC Mostly Consist of 'Work hard, work hard, work hard

er!' Those words start to lose Meaning after a while. That Knew June and that's why I always listened to depressing songs When He Was in a sad mood. Arashi-style poppy joy just rubbed salt in His Wounds. And He Was Wounded. His pride WAS Covered in blisters and historical self-confidence Had Been beaten to a pulp by a guy with a voice way too deep for historical face. I WAS like an animal seeking for a refuge away from predators - Namely, Pi and Nishikido Who Were Already texting him with 'hilarious' jokes. I Turned Off His phone and the music. I Knew the studio and the rooftop Was a good alternative. I Had Spent a great deal of historical rooftops puberty in hiding, Trying to readrn how to smoke and look cool while doing it. I did look cool, But Had Been addiction too steep a price. The

Open and closed door, But Did not look at it in June. Probably just an employee.
'Hm, Matsumoto-senpai ...'

I turn back and saw Kame. Whatever I wanted, it wasn't as important as sulking. 'What the fuck do you want? "

'Hey, I Was just worried. You Passed right next to me and I Talk To You and you

Ignored me and ... ' ' Does Being Ignored That Much annoy you? " June sneered and felt a little guilty of doing so. Arashi members or His Friends Knew That bastard behind the sneering Rather Was a smart and charming man (if I Say That Might himself), But Did not know him too Kamewell. I sat on the floor, Back Against The Wall That Was All That Separated the rooftop from the air.

Kame además got closer and sat him. 'You're an ungrateful asshole, you know? I do not even know why I care. "

'You care Because I'm hot. Want a cigarette? "

'You're so hot barely Masuda Remembers your name. And how nice of you, "Kame Answered and Took a cigarette. 'Do you have a lighter? "

'Here. " I Kame's lit cigarette. Kame Knew how to smoke in a cool way as well and in close proximity, I Had to Admit He Was not the only hot guy in the rooftop. I Wonderer if I was really gay, like Jin Had Said, And Then stopped right on the tracks. That way lay madness. 'So what did you want to ask me? "

Kame's eyes widen. 'Do not worry, I've Already Asked Nino. "

'Oh. That's cool then. " His eyes closed in June and breathe in deeply. 'Look at the time. I must go. "

Kame laughed. 'You're shit at ending conversations, you know? You get all awkward. "

historical cigarette put out in June and Stood Up. 'Just so you know, I Might Get charmingly vulnerable, but I'm never awkward. "

Could I hear Kame's laughter all the way down the stairs.

- Used

I got to hear Kame's laughter soon enough, somehow Because Arashi Had Gained a sixth member. Kame's Presence in the dressing room was routine Already, as historical WAS coffee.

'So WHERE do you getthis coffee, anyway? " June asked. They Were the only two people left in the dressing room, Because Sho Had gotten a sudden phone call, Nino Had gone to the bathroom and Aiba Had gone to look for ice tea. Had no idea WHERE I WAS Ohno.

'It's a secret. If I Told You, You Would not let me eat anymore, "Kame replied. He Was curled up on a sofa. Had I just finished recording Some variety show appearance. June Almost felt sorry for him, Because He Looked terrible - But still hot.

'Hey, if you want to bask in our greatness, be my guest.' Kame

Nodder historical and eyes closed. 'Yes, yes, Your Majesty. "

'You can not fall asleep here. Having lunch with us is intrusive enough, do not you think? "

I'm not falling asleep, I'm just resting my eyes. "

'Just like the other day You Were not going to have lunch with us and somehow I ended up HAVING lunch with the whole of KAT-TUN? " June Said, But Already Kame WAS sound asleep. Stood Up

June, Sho Took Kame's jacket and Cover with it. 'We shouldn't let you crash events in here,' he murmured.

- Since

Did not have any regular NEWS Programs, Which Meant That There Was Not much chance of running Into Them casually in a TV studio, Jun got lucky A Few weeks later. NEWS Had a new single out and That meant to promotions. Work for stations in June.

'You're still at it? " Asked when to June Sho Told him about historical plans. They Were in Their dress aloneing room, or at least as good as alone, Because Nino Had fallen asleep the second I sat down and Aiba and Ohno Had Followed suit. 'Though I Had You Given Up. " June

tried on a white jacket. 'Why Should I? I never give up. That way I never lose. "

'Are you sure? You do not want to stay here and eat Some of Those chocolates Kame sat us? " Sho temptingly Waved the box with a creepy smile.

'You look like a pervert. And I do not get the kid. Why send us chocolate? Did I Miss Something? Is it Valentine's? "

'He's Just Trying to be nice and make a good impression. " June

Took off the jacket and Threw it on the couch. It Looked awful on him. 'Or maybe He Wants to fatten all of us. To moveup in the company. " Sho

started to fold the jacket. 'That's just paranoid, Jun. And You Should Like That stop treating him. He gets really scared Whenever you enter the room. " June

tried on Aiba's jacket. It Had Been Looked like it dug out out of a dumpster 70s Ohno And Then Had Attempted to Make Some patchwork with it. It Looked Massu-like enough, so tried it on in June. 'It's not my fault if I'm intimidating. " Sho

started eating the chocolates. 'Whatever, Jun, I'll enjoy the chocolates for you. Or do you want to Give Them to Massu? " June

huffed. 'I'm Not That cheesy. I mean, you can not get Into a guy's pants with chocolates. It never works. "

'Wearing won Aiba's lucky jacket'T work Either. In FACT, why do not you switch targets to Tegoshi? He Seems easier. "

'Because Tegoshi likes chicks and Because They Will not let me. I mean, I tried, But They Do Know Their bandmates' names. "

'Okay, okay, you go and Be a champion, then. " DECIDED June

Not to address the sarcasm in Sho's voice and left the dressing room without Saying Good bye, But Not Before putting on sunglasses historical lucky. I Need All I Could get the luck.

I Almost Did not catch Massu. 'Hey, Masuda! " He Said, grabbing him by the shoulder. The Saami

confused smile. Again. 'Oh ... hi. "

Not Promising. At all. 'Hey, We Did not get to talk the other day. " Massu

bowed slightly. Were They Really That old already? Maybe Kame Was Right about the wrinkles ... "Hm, no, we did not. I'm Sorry About That. " June

Took Off His sunglasses. 'Oh, do not worry! I Was just wondering if ... you still liked food. " Massu

Nodder. 'Like everybody else, I suppose. "

'Oh, yes, we all like food. Actually Even if we can not eat. " Not eating

jokes? For Johnny's, That Was like talking about the weather. June felt ridiculous. WAS What next?
'Do not you hate Those silly They made us wear outfits? My manager is a real pain in the ass
? Massu's eyes searched the room. Probably for an emergency door, thought Jun. 'Oh, sorry, the manager Wants to go already. It's his Daughter's birthday and Wants to return home early. " Another quick left with Massu bow in June and just stared at the distance For a few seconds. Emergency doors, emergency managers - almost the Same thing.

'But I just want your number ...' I muttered.

Maybe It Was Better if I Avoided Arashi's dressing room for a while. They Could Be When They wanted to evil.

I Took a slight detour and ended up at Kame's dressing room. I Was a senpai polite, after all, and I HAD to thank him for the chocolates. I knocked on the door, But nobody answered.

I Stood there, like an idiot, Until an employee TAPPED station on His shoulder. "Matsumoto-san, are you looking for somebody?"

'KamenashiHad told me to eat. But Apparently he's not here. "

I left so fast it burnt the floor, But the way back to the dressing room felt like the world Had lost STI colors. Could I see Himself hung by the ankles as a warning for all of Those Who messed with the Greatest of Them All (Even If He Was Balding, Yes, Now Shut Up, Smartass) Nakai as drunkenly Called Himself. I WAS never going to go out drinking with Those Guys never again. They Hated him and him up to fail in September.

I slammed the door open and ran Almost Towards Sho. 'I failed. Again. "

'Why did you Doubt that? " a cheery voice said. June pierced with historical patented Kame stink eye, But It Did not seem to faze Kame.
Scared, my ass
, Jun Thought. 'This is not a hotel for KAT-TUN members, now go away. " Kame

WAS sitting next to Nino so I just rolled His eyes and jump up back to historical conversation with him. June
strode
Towards Them And Then stopped centimeters away from the couch. His arms folded and I curled lip historical. Nino and Kame just Kept talking, But I Could see the Youngest Towards him one glance. I Could Also see Nino's hand on Kame's knee "I Told you to go away, Kamenashi. I need to discuss with Arashi Some important Matters. " Nino

Laugh and patted Jun's thigh. "Your pride is Not important. It'll recover. "

Kame, urge, just got up. 'I see I'm not wanted. " I shot a glance at Jun. faced Nino And Then Wait for June

a witty response or at least for a bitchy one - Kame Had an encyclopaedia of Those and June Had yet to hear them all - But all I got Was An icy glare And Then the silence of His bandmates.

Sho sighed. 'Way to Be an asshole. " June

His arms held up in desperation. 'I'm in a crisis here, guys! " Aiba

Nodder. 'We know, we know. But do not worry! We'll resurrect you when Nakai kills you. " The thing with

Aiba, Jun Thought, WAS That You never knew if I meant to it.

- June

Did not feel guilty for snapping at Kame at first. If you played with fire, you got burnt. But as the Days Pass and the family now conspicuously absent WAS Presence (he stopped sending events That awesome coffJune and liked ee That Had coffee), Jun started to change His mind. Kame around Had Been Having fun. Normally, They Were in Opposite sides of everything but it Had Been a welcome change. After all Their years together, Arashi never indulged taste for good historical Carefully crafted arguments and bitchiness. Sho calm him down, Smiled at him Ohno, Aiba Nino Derailed the conversations and just mock him. Took Kame all the baits, hook, line and sinker.

Beside, the quiet Judgement of Arashi Was a Force to Be reckoner with. The disapproving looks like Were Being buried in lead. Judgmental lead.

'Okay, okay. I'll apologize, 'He Said one night after a concert. The rest Were all asleep in the van. Nino Opened His Eyes Only and rummaged-through pockets historical. IHis cell held out to Jun.

'About fucking time. Here's his number. You Never Asked him for it, Did not You? " June

Took the cell. 'I did not see the need. "

'So I's not the only turtle Then,' Nino Said Before His eyes closing again. 'Put the phone Where It Belongs when you're done, will you? " June

Nodder and started typing on His own phone.


'Sorry. I'll let you visit us again. Sometimes We All Need entertainment. "
I sat the text and wait. I Gave Kame Answering Before two minutes tops.

I Had to Wait Until They Were Almost in Tokyo. Your apologies


suck. But I guess I'll come around Sometimes, I canmiss you tell me.
By the way, you're still an asshole. Did

June events deign to reply.

- June

Rested His Hand on the doorknob and hoped That Would Be routine finally restored. I wanted to find His bandmates chatting happily and Kame's coffee on the table. If Fate WAS Generous feeling, I wanted to find Kame as well. Fate

WAS feeling Generous, But Also a little mocking Because I only found Kame with a cup of coffee But No bandmates to Be Seen.

That Was Dangerous.

Kame stared at him from above the cup. "Hi." I

sounder still angry. June strode across the room and Took a cup of coffee for Himself. "I'm sorry, 'he muttered.
CCould I feel HTMLXC Kame's eyes pierce holes on His back. 'Two

apologies? And One Was real events? This is a first for you, is not it? " June
historical sipped coffee. It still Tasted great. I glanced at Kame. 'How did you manage to arrive Before Us? " Kame
Shrugged. 'I Have Nothing Better to do with my time. " June

turn back to face Kame and Smile. 'I figured. I have no idea why you keep showing up. " The confused frown

WAS cute, Jun Thought, if a little Forced. 'Really? You do? "

'I Have Some Theories but ... why do you do it, Then? I mean, if You Need Any kind of help ... I know Things Have Been hard for you. "

Kame started to laugh and patted June 's shoulder. 'Do not worry. I just like you guys ... but I'll keep your offer in mind. You Do not Get That From Matsumoto Jun, Super Idol, Every Day. "

'The Super Idol Aiba is, not me. " Kame

Laugh Again and June WAS Eichmann up Then Aiba grateful Asked Why was June and Trying to steal historical title, Because Trying to steal bandmates' boyfriends WAS worse.

-

Bets Were not good for Jun, Especially When Other People insisted on pending Reminding him of historical fate. I Had Almost no time left, According To Ryo. Did I remember agreeing on a deadline and I Did not trust Ryo, Jin and Pi Had But Ryo's Judgement Supported over Jun's and now I've Had one week.

luckily, NEWS Had a concert and That BeforeHad June hatched a fail-proof plan.
I Looked amazing, Even Better Than normal. Praise the Kame Even Had I WAS wearing jeans and I Had Spent accessorizing MOST of the afternoon and evening MOST of the historical combing hair. I Looked amazing and more importantly, I Looked effortless. I've Waited So
backstage, Because He Did not Want To Be spotted with a silly bunch of flowers in first row. Everybody liked flowers, Did not They?

The group members started to come out one by one and in June Stood There With the Blankest face Could I manage. 'Hm. Congratulations. "

There Were Only Had two instances I felt more awkward Than That. Had Both Involved goats. Massu

historical cleared throat. 'Good night, Matsumoto-kun. And good night, guys. I'll see on Wednesday. "

Fell Jun's mouth open. 'You're Leaving? "

'Yes, I Already Have Plans and I'm beat. "

'But I Was wondering if ...'

Massu left him hanging. June clutched flowers and jump up the network. Koyama

giggled and Took the flowers. 'Thanks, Matsumoto! They're really pretty. "

'I guess. Good concert. "

I started to leave. At least I have Had the car and drive around Until I Could Died down the humiliation.

'Hey, June, let's go out! " Ryo screamed Towards him while I ran.

'So You Can mock me? No, thanks. "

'For what? For Being a good friend and coming to see us? No problem there, buddy, 'Pi and Ryo added Nodder.

'But I lost the bet. "

Ryo laughed. "What bet?"

'The Bet That I ... "Ryo's eyebrows jump up up and shut up in June. 'Then, yeah, let's go out, "June Said, Forgetting all about how terribly When They Went Things got drunk.

'Amazing! We'll get so drunk they'll kick us out again! " Maybe it wasn't

Such a good idea after all.

-

By the time June U.S. WAS singing 70s hits, I HAD forgotten all about the bet.

'Are the best karaoke booths, Are not They, Ryo? " He Said, además him sitting down. Ryo WAS half-asleep and clutching June's flowers. Yamapi WAS lying on the floor, humming an ABBA song with a dumb smiHis lips on him.

'Yes, yes, They Are,' he muttered.

'My Jeans Are Also the best. They Said Kame really suited me, But I know I meant to my ass when I'm wearing looks astounding Them. "

Ryo laughed. 'How do you know that? "

'I Kept staring at it, Even if I have a crush on Nino. So it Must mean my ass looks amazing in Them. "

'A crush on Nino? Why do you think that? " Ryo asked.

'They always talk. And stuff. And Nino touches him a lot. " Ryo

Jun's head hit with the flowers. 'Nino touches everybody. "

'But Kame gets really nervous. Like nervous schoolgirl. Totally annoying. " Ryo

Jun. Towards leaner '
Ever
ybody gets nervous when to Nino does Touching the thing. Just Because You're Used to It Does not mean it's not creepy. "
'And I looks at me like ... I do not know, maybe I Thinks I have a crush on Nino as well, because i always catch him staring at me. Always. And I have snaps at me all the time. I'm mean, But I crosses the line. It's like I eat visiting to argue with me. "
'Arguing Is not part of your mating process? "

'Why do you say that? Arguing I do not enjoy at all. "

'Really, Jun, you're playing dumb, Are not You? " June

blinked. 'He does not have a crush on Nino? " Ryo

let the flowers fall to the floor. 'No, he does not. Come on, you don'tknow? "

'Is it Aiba? " Yamapi

Stood Up. 'Crap, He Does not Know. I really Does not Know. "

'What Should I know? " I tried to say, But I WAS getting drowsy.

'That Kame's still gay and single, "Pi said.

'Why Should I Care? " He Was vaguely aware of Ryo fiddling with historical phone and of
Yamapi Knowing Breaking Into a smile. He Knew He Was supposed to ask again, But for That He Was tired.

The rest of the night Was a blur. The only moment That Look Sharp In His Mind When Nino WAS Arrived at Kame with Some ungodly hour. I Waved at Nino and His tongue stuck out at Kame. Kame sat down next to him, To His surprise, while Nino tried to move away from a WAITRO Yamapis.

'Hi, Kamenashi-kun. How are you feeling today? "

'Better than you, at least. "

'You look tired. "

'I

am tired. " June
Could Hardly stay awake at That point, pero WAS Pi's remark still clear in His Mind. 'Hey, are you still single? " Kame
Nodder. 'Why do you ask? "

'Because Then nobody will mind if I do this, "June Said Before His head resting on Kame's lap. He closed His eyes. 'And are you still gay? " Kame

Wait A Minute Before Answering. 'Yes. Why do you care? " June

felt Kame's fingers combing historical-through hair and smiles. 'Because I do. "

-

Next morning, I woke up alone in historical apartment. I Remembered walking to a taxi and Kame Giving him a note and a smile. Was a lucky bastard child.

I checked and found the pocket His Carefully folded note. It read


Need to talk to you. Coffee next Friday? Some
and address. June read the note A Thousand Times And Then sat to text to Kame. Of course I Could. They Could Talk about anything.
'Hey, We Could Even skip the talking, "June Said to Himself And Then cursed Nino again.
- The coffee WAS

empty. The only employee - Probably the owner - Was a weird looking Woman Who Wore June swore an eye patch. Still, Kame WAS at the back of the place.

They sat and stared at Each Other forA Few minutes.

'Thanks for coming, "Kame said. His smile WAS Brighter Than a clear summer day in June and WAS stuff Comparing to the sun? I wince. Comparing people to bright summer days or the warm spring sun WAS always a bad omen.

'No problem. It WAS important. I mean, We Have to talk about it. " Kame

Nodder, pero pick up in June Could Some mild surprise. "I'm surprised you finally Realized it. Took you long enough. " June

gulped. Letting people down Gently Had Never Been His forte, Especially When It Was in place of somebody else. 'Look, you shouldn't get your Hopes up. " Kame

Looked straight at him and jump up pale. 'But ...'

'It's better to quit while you're ahead, Kame. I know it's hard to Meet Guys Who are in the business, pero fantasies Were never good for anybody. Trust me, it's for your own sake. "

'But ... I Thought. I really Thought. It Was Obvious That I'm not the only one that ... '

'Nino's never Obvious. "

'Who the fuck cares about Nino? "

'You do, Obviously, and he's my friend and I feel like it's my duty to tell you that ... "Kame Grabbed

Jun's arm. 'Wait. Just wait. Let me get this straight. You think I'm into Nino? " Nodder

June. 'Eh. Yes? You're always talking to him. And Touching him. And you came together the Other Night. "

Kame started to laugh. WAS June dumbfounded. Something Had Gone horribly wrong. 'And that's why I Asked him

To Have coffee with me. "
'You did? And I Said Yes? Did he pay? Because if I Paid, Then I Do not Know What to think. "
'Jun. Do you get it? Really? "

'But if you do not like him, Then why do you two talk so much? "

'We Have a friend in common. Well, friend

... '
June blinked. And Then He Went network. 'Oh, fuck my life. " He hid His face in His hands. 'It's me, is not it? "
'Hey, if it Annoys You That much, I can back off. " Kame sounder angry. But in June Knew him well enough to realize it WAS hurt instead.

'It Does not annoy me. It Does not annoy me at all, 'heSaid, peeking-through His hands. Kame's scowl

Quickly Became a grin. 'So I wasn't crazy after all. Has anybody ever Told You You are the king of mixed messages? " June

snorted. 'Because you're so straightforward! "

'I Gave you chocolates. "

And They Had Been delicious, Even if only June Had Been Able to taste one little tiny part. 'You Gave
Arashi
chocolates. "
'No, I did not. They Were Only for you. I made a card events. " On one hand
, I wanted to kill Sho. On The Other, Kame's actions Were too cute to care about anything Other than 'This is going to Be the best date ever

. "
- He Had Spent
historical andntire ride to work planning Against Sho historical vengeance, But I Had Plans to scrap all the historical moment I Opened the door. Ohno stared at him and Then Went His eyes wide. I left the notepad on His knees and Then Point at Jun. 'You got laid last night. " June

stopped cold. 'What are you on this time, Ohno? " I barked. Aiba

ran him and Touche historical Towards forehead. Then I smelled historical hair. 'Yeah, definitely. Smells Like A Man Who got laid. " Gently I pushed

Aiba away. 'Stop with the non-sense. I smell of shampoo and shower gel. And I'm not humming or doing anything like that, such. Why do you think I got laid? " Nino

historical snorted and folded arms to His chest. 'Normal people do That. Whenever you get laid, you bark. And I guess it was really angry sex, so you're angrier events Than usual. "

'Sho, Tell Them to Stop. " Did Sho

events look at him. 'Why Should I? It's Obvious they're right. "

'What is it for you, Then? Did you read it in your newspapers? "

'No, I read it from That hickey on your neck, Which the make-up department is going to bitch about the whole morning. Next time, ask him to Be more professional. " Not
June
tried to laugh. 'Why Did not you bastards tell me? " Threw

Nino Ohno's jacket at him. 'Because It Was Obvious You Were chasing and Massu. Massu

. And by the way, you owe me. " June
Threw Ohno's jacket back at Nino. 'IDo not owe you anything. "
'Yes, you do, Because if it Had not Been for me, Kame Would Have quit this ridiculous chase two days Into It. "

'

That's why you two Talked so much? " Ohno
Grabbed His jacket and Pointe at Jun. 'Well, we HAD to Explain to him That You're a weird person, Jun. Nino And Do not Believe, We Were
all rooting for you. "
His eyes rolled in June. 'You just like Kame's food. " Sho
Carefully folded newspaper and historical historical Rested upon it knees. 'I'd say we where more Concerned about your general well-being and sanity, But The coffee did play a big part. " Wonderer

June, for a second, Exactly When I crossed over to HADLand Dorama But Then I decided it wasn't really important. Epilogue




'So, next time, Avoid the neck, please. I hate wearing Turtlenecks. "
'Then you Avoid my arms. The guys Laugh at me for a week. " June

Shrugged. 'They're pretty. " Kame

Reach Out From His side of the table and hit Jun's head. 'But it's too hot for long sleeves and Photoshop we can not live footage. " Grabbed
June
Kame's hand. 'Yeah, yeah, I understand. I'll bite only private places from now on. "

'Oh, shut up. I do not want to kill you in a restaurant. "

'You mean you kiss

, Surely. Why Would You kill me when I'm theXC 'Well, they're
really close. " June wisher
I Could frown even more, Because They Did not look like friends. At all.

'They're fucking. "

'Well, maybe. Actually Nakamaru recommended this place to me. I Said it was very private. " June

Knew That smile. June Knew That look. 'You Knew

and you let me ... you're a bastard. " Kame

leaner over to June and His forehead pressed Against his. 'And That way you love me, do not you? "



WAS
This entry originally posted at
http://riendasuelta.dreamwidth.org/14058.html . There Please comment using OpenID.

Fort Smith Arkansas Brazilian Wax Salons [JE Fandom] Shoot the Shaggy Dog

Title: Shoot the Shaggy Dog

Fandom: Johnny's Entertainment (Ikuta Toma, cameos by Arashi, KAT-TUN, V6, TOKIO and KinKi Kids. And matchy.)

Wordcount: 4393

Genre: supernatural! AU, light angst, gen

Summary: Takes Specialized is a free agent in supernatural phenomena Who has just got a new assignment - to Investigate why and how Arashi, the well-known 'archaeologists', ended up stranded in the Himalayas with KAT-TUN, notable demon hunters. But is he ready for the truth?

Warnings: Mentions of Mental Illness.

Author's Notes: Thanks to lastingdreams8 for the beta!. Contains references to everything under the sun, Mainly to the Lovecraft's Cthulhu Mythos and Doctor Who. There Are some lines taken from a Discworld novel. This fic

Was Written as a gift for bubbly, for the je_justfriends exchange.


drank
Takes Another Cup of Coffee. It Was the Twentieth and it taste of old cabbages and feet-to taste perfectly well and takes Knew It Was Better if you just Did not ask about it, thank you very much. The stakeout WAS as boring as one time That Took Junehim to the Swedish Fishermen's Association Film Festival and They ended up watching movies about Swedish Fishermen for five hours. June CLAIMED I Had Gained new insight in the plight of men and the commonalities unite us all That, Take That Could Claim only the sight of fish made him sick for months Afterwards.

Another idol magazine I Grabbed from the passenger's seat and Another raspberry muffin. It Tastes Better Than the coffee - or at least remind him of it Did That damn mission in the tiny little town. Tiny little towns and sucked Were Often more than not infiltrate by Either evil cults fish That eldritch abominations worshiper from evil aliens or Beyond Time That wanted to eat everybody's pancreas. Or Were just Populated by old people, Who Turned out tor be evil or mind-controlled or figments of your imagination at the end. And Sometimes you Were the alien - or the evil cultist fish or the tomato - on the mirror and that's when to Take drew the line. He Was not alien. I Was Just One Of The Most renowned paranormal agents in the world - well, renowned as shady as a no-Government-would-admit-he-exists' Could get free agent. His

Extremely advanced communication device - or 'phone', for the uninitiated - rang.

'Hi? "

'Go back to your office Immediately. Have we found Arashi. "

'Wait. They Were lost? " Uchi

Laughed nervously. "Sorta." ***

liked

Takes His office. IWAS t big enough for one person and it Had windows events. The morning sun shone brightly and made historical That plants grow healthy and strong. It Had to quality That Made His cheery way less depressing job.

I Opened the door and groaned. His desk WAS full of boxes and files. It Looked Like A Complicated case, One of Those That Either make it or break it. Some boxes Had big, bold letters read That 'Innsmouth' and Were An Extremely strange city about people WHERE Worshipper Turned Into Some frogs and undersea monsters. Others Were

about Dunwich, Another creepy town That Had Been Destroyed by 'a giant spaghetti monster. " Take snorted. This Was Worse Than working with the FBI dude obsessed with aliens.

I Had not Heard of historical events employerc.

*** On the Other Hand, The Fact That It Is Involved Arashi His job made a piece of cake. I Knew Where to start. His best friend in June WAS They trusted and Each Other. Something meant to trust And in a world as cutthroat as theirs. Jun's back I Had Had June and his, so it WAS just a matter of Asking, writing the report and Inviting Then in June to dinner with the money.

I Drove to Jun's apartment. It Was a really fancy apartment for Someone Who Pretend To Be A linguist broke Who Specialized in ancient - read: dead and / or supposedly nonexistent - languages. His frequent-'holidays' Probably Paid for it.

Several Times Before He knocked June Open the Door, Took a glance at him, and closed it again. 'Oh, do not be a kid! " Take Yellen.

Peaked Jun's head out the window. 'You're here on official business. I'm not talking. " Take

WAS surprised. Usually, after a complex case or a really good heist, Jun Called Him first. "Why?"

'Do you even know who's paying you? "

'No. I never know That. Unlikable you, I Lack a rich daddy Who Pays for Expenses. "

'We Have More Than Reimbursable Sakurai's father's investment. "

'Yeah, Because You're Stealy Who stealers steal. Every bona fide archeologist in the world Wants Your Ass. "

His eyes rolled in June. 'Look. We can not talk, we made a promise. Sorry. "

A promise? After All These Years, theddenly, Jun Those Honored? Remembered takes the scar That Went back across historical. That point A Few years ago. Countless Countless sleepless nights and break-ins. 'Just one question. You owe me. " Apparently
June
Those Remembered as well. "I'll just say two things - it's not the first time we run into destructive Those assholes ... and last time saltshakers There Were Involved." At least it

sounder interesting.


*** Why did His job
So Many seedy Establishments Involve? Why Were not These People respectable for a change? There Was a reason I always sat with historical Towards the back wall and Those Guys personified it. I parked
historical
Enter the car and used cars' dealership. The parking lot full of WAS orld cars and Older People. I Waved to Mabo, Who Was Some sweet-talking lady, and Nagase, Who Was talking to Some Who Was weird green guy dressed as an old-fashioned lounge singer. I Thought Were
demons supposed to hide, damn it. Next thing you know, vampires will want to come out of the coffin.


He Went Straight Into the office and found Joushima snoring loudly. The desk WAS filled with half-eaten sandwiches and Diet Coke, plus a teddy bear and a fuchsia jacket with polka dots. Take

Shrugged and jump up to the file drawer. I started going-through the files. The stains Were suspicious - Was That blood, coffee or what? - But the worst part That They Completely WAS lacken Any semblance of a sensible system.

"Ew."

'Hey, it's not our fault. " Instantly I

Recognized the voice. 'Hello, Taichi-san. " Taichi sat on the desk. Kept making rummaging-through the files.

'Take-kun. It's Been a Long Time. "

'I'm sorry. I've been busy. "

'Oh, Do not apologize. We know you younglings Do not Have time for your uncles forgotten poor. Unless you Need information. " Take

smirk. At least you knew Where You Stood with Those Guys. 'Yep. Exactly. What can you tell me about ...? " Taichi
WAS
historical polishing shirt's buttons. 'I have a new car. Well, Almost new at least. A modified DeLorean .... "

Most of the time, at least. 'I'm not BUYING it. ICan Give You the money directly. "

'Why? We are really honest here. I swear. "

'The last car you sold me
WAS
cursed. It tried to kill me. Twice. "

'Oh. We Should Have Told you you it consideration. "

'And I Took it to a mechanic. You mean I Should Have taken it to an exorcist? "

'No, You Should Have taken it to Our associated workshop, idiot. "

'You should've told me That, But you did not. So at least I Deserve the information. For free

. " Taichi wince at the word 'free'. 'Okay, okay. But only if you tell your friends about us. "

'Well, If Any of Them ever cursed car Needs to ...'

Taichi laughed. 'Come on, tell me what you're working on. " Take

finally stopped looking at the files and turn back to stare at Taichi. '¨ KAT-TUN. What do you know about Them? And When They Have Worked with Arashi? "

'KAT-TUN? The Files are under Joshima There's jacket on the desk. And about the Arashi thing ... Leaving aside the fact-That your friends Have Some odd delusion of grandeur Things going on - really, that's a stupid name - You Should Talk to Our mechanics. The guys Were Involved, I think. Something about giant saltshakers from Another Dimension. " I started going-through pockets and Then Gave historical Take business card. 'That's the place. " Nodder Takes And Then Turned His Attention Towards the table. I Took the files Carefully, But Did Joushima move events. 'Well, thanks for your help. "

'Hey, Are not You Interested in a classic car? " Taichi asked. Take

ran out of There. ***



He Was Once Safely back in His car, I Opened the files.

They Were done in the sloppiest handwriting takes Had ever seen - and I Used to work with Yamapi, sloppy handwriting so I Knew - But I Could Understand Them, for Some Reason. Maybe translator microbes Those Were still working.


KAT-TUN:

Have Been Around for Some Time. Young and reckless. Like fur coats. Did we say they're reckless? Some

Owe us TONS of money. Mostly

Deal with demons and the like. Like to find ancient Talismans. The members

Are Apparently Kamenashi Kazuya - an unbearable kid, But Really Cute When drunk, Apparently he's the scholar of the team - Akanishi Jin - pure charisma, can get Into anybody's pants, Leader ask about that! - Koki Tanaka - Smarter Than I looks, martial arts expert, son of a Shinto priest - Taguchi Junnosuke - Can not Be as stupid as I have looks, dumb muscle, says I Used To Be part of the circus - Ueda Tatsuya - Tends to get dressed as a girl for Some Reason - and finally
maru Naka mura
Yuichi - accountant -. They Said
met at college, pero Highly doubtful. Maybe They Met

near a college. Ragtag of misfits. That way we like them. Remind us of a herd of cats. Take


sighed. As informative as expected. And There Were not Even photographs.
*** Threw out the
Takes Pamphlets Had Given the green guy him - something about karaoke and souls - and stepped out of the car. The
WAS empty street and nobody There Was To Be Seen. A Shinto temple Stood in front of a tiny workshop. It Was peaceful, pero Takes Knew It Was Probably infested by ghosts. The workshop WAS
even more suspiciously normal. There WAS no bell, so I just Clapp.
A meat guy out, cleaning the grease on His pants. 'Looking for somebody, kid? "

'Eh. Sakamoto-san is here? " The guy

Nodder. 'He's inside workingSome damned with Impala. Yanks Are always so careless ... "

'Is it going to take very long?"

'Hm. Yes, Probably. Did you Need anything special

? "

'Not today. I Just Need information. Taichi sat me. " The guy Looked

sad, pero hopeful. "We just finished a new batch of anti-werewolves really cool Weapons. Do you want to see Them? "

'No, thank you ... I Just Need to talk to Sakamoto. "

'He's busy. Just ask me. I'm Nagano, by the way. "

'Eh. What do you know about giant salt-shakers, Arashi and KAT-TUN? " Nagano His eyes rolled. 'Never again, that's all I know. Those dudes Are stupid. When you find something in soweird me ruins in the jungle and it looks alien ... '

' ... leave it there, Even if it's shiny. Yeah, I know. Wait. Nakai-san Did That teach you as well? " Went Nagano

pale. 'I

That Taught him. The brat has Claim the advice, when to the One Who can not stay away from bright Things've Always Been him? " Take

WAS surprised. Very FEW people Were Older Than SMAP. Very FEW people That Could survive long in Their business. 'You're Older Than Them? But I've Never Heard Of You ... '

' My Life Has Been Complicated, 'He Said icily. "Pertaining to your question, yes, eleven Tanaka and Aiba meat here Asking for Weapons That Could Kill Heavily armored aliens."

'Oh. They Were So working together? Interesting. " Nagano

His head shook. 'No, They Were not. Matsumoto Eichmann up Later, looking ready to kill somebody ... well, I always looks Like That, But my point WAS That They Were at the verge of killing Each Other. "

That Sound more like it. Were Collaborations rare, Mostly Because It Was Hard enough to make the members of Each group Agree with Each Other, There Was A Reason Takes Work Alone. So, When It Came to negotiate entre groups ... well, it Was Easier to just punch in the face Them. 'I see. Thanks for your help. "

He Turned His back to Nagano. 'But what about the Weapons? They're cool! I swear! "

'Maybe next time,' Take yelle Before Getting Into His Car. CHT***
MLXC

Takes Had run out of leads, so all that's left WAS WAS to bluff, bluff to the max. He Was Almost out of gas and historical Expenses cut a lot Had Been Since That case regarding Beyond vampire fish from space, so I parked it and Simply jump up to Sakurai's apartment on foot.

He Was about to ring the doorbell When Somebody stepped out in a rage. Sakurai meat after the guy and Then Simply stopped cold. 'Toma-kun? " Pointed Takes

huffing to the silhouette That Was Getting Into the elevator. 'That Was Oguri? " Sakurai blushed. 'Eh, forget I asked. Look, tell me what Happened in Tibet. " Sakurai

leaner Against the doorframe. 'Nothing Happened. Are we clear? " Take

got closer to Sakurai's face. 'Okay, guys, why the secrecy? I mean, I Could not find much on your previous married with KAT-TUN. Why? What's the Deal with Those Guys? " Sakurai

retreat Into His House. 'Stop digging, will you? What Happened in Antarctica ... I mean, Tibet is none of your business. " Take

Was Confused. This Was getting even more stupid. 'I will not stop. I want to know. I want the truth. " Why Were They

so intent in Keeping him out of the loop? Even in June! What Could Be so terrible? I always Knew Arashi Talk About Their 'special bond' and Their loyalty to Each Other, But Could I get a little bit of it too? Sakurai

put His Hand on the door. 'You want to believe as well? Look, I like you. I do not know who's paying you to find out, But really, it's better if nobody knows. " Then Takes

got a face full of door. ***



I decided to ditch historical car. Could I pick it up later.

'Only one place left to go,' he muttered. Rumour had it

KinKi's That Was a nice place, if you Avoid the drunken Brawls. Since Everybody Was always drunk and it Was a hang-out for time travelers, bounty hunters and the general alien Population, the best hope for Could you WAS to leave in one piece. Take

Immediately Open the door and ducked. It importations to Be a smart move, Because Then a bottle flew him and smashed straight Towards Against the right wall Above His Head. I Waved at Erika, pero Apparently she Thought the bottI Was Enough of a greeting.

He Went past her and her jolly bunch - three girls That Look cute in matching outfits and Were talking about Something Called 'Operation Chocolate Disco' and one robot. Domoto I spotted the 'brothers' talking to a blond dude in a fur coat and a scary-looking ninja. A cute girl with a really weird bunny Stood next to Them.

"Hey!" Take Yellen. Ignored him Tsuyoshi, Koichi But apologize to the Others and Approaches: a him.

'Toma-kun! Let's make this short, Because Those Guys Have Urgent business really friends and really empowering. " I Pointed at the weird trio and takes Nodder. They did look ... in a hurry. "So, Basically, we do not know What Happened, But They Might know, 'Koichi Said, pushing him towards a new table. Take

Gasper. KAT-TUN WAS there, drinking beer and looking menacing ... or at least Trying to. It Was Hard to do with six Barbarians at The Other sitting nearby table, and You Were just five young-looking skinny guys. Koichi
pushed him
Towards Them. 'This is my friend. Treat him kindly, 'I Said and left him there, Being stared at.


Friend. Right
one time I Remembered That I Had Spent three days stranded in a little island with only a devilish Inglés thief - who insists in groping him - Just Because the company as Domoto Had taken off with the yacht. I Had Never Been So Relieved to see a NATO agent show up. Even if the agent NATO Was a really pissed-off German dude.

'Hi. I'M Here. I work for an Interested party - University of Miskatonic or Something Like That - and I need to know, '

One of the guys Stood Up. 'We're not talking and They Can Go rot in hell. " The other four

Nodder.

'Look. I do not care. I just Need to know why you ended up in the Himalayas with Arashi. That's all. "

They all started to leave. One of Them - wearing argyle, Which Was the print badass least on Earth - Grabbed him by the arm. 'Stop now. What we saw ... It Can not Be unseen. " Take
breathe in sharply. 'Wait. Were not you six? "
The guy let go of His arm. 'Yes, we were. Yet another reason to stop now, 'I Said Before historical Following mates.
Take
historical rubbed sore arm and Stood in the middle of the Greatest drunken brawl of the century. Business as usual at KinKi's, But Not at Toma's. ***



Takes Hated duck ponds, ducks Because He Was Were sure evil - and I HAD seen one human turn eleven! - But Were The Most duck ponds inconspicuous place I Could think of. I Could Easily Different spot at least three spies and two guys I wasn't sure That Were human. I sat on one of the benches and wait.

A few Minutes Later, a guy with a fake mustache and a trench coat sat next to him.

'To the axeman, all supplicants Are the Same height,' he said.

'Tsubasa, I know it's you. You know it's me. Cut the crap. " Tsubasa

His head shook frantically. 'To the axeman, all supplicants Are the Same height. " Take

sighed. After historical fall out with Takki, Tsubasa WAS Simply Not the Same. Take That hoped he'd never get paranoid. Had I seen historical share of betrayal, But I Had Some really good friends. I Remembered Jun's attitude. 'Yet verily, the rose is the thorn Within, OK? " I growled.

'The caged whale knows nothing of the mighty deeps,' replied Tsubasa.

historical Did he get passwords out of a fantasy novel? If so, a very silly one, to be honest. 'And the ill-built tower trembles mightily at a butterfly's passage, yeah, yeah. Now That We're Done, I need answers now. There's one member of KAT-TUN missing. Where is he? " Tsubasa wa

tched the ducks swim, Avoiding Toma's gaze. 'I can not tell you Who told me this, but ... I've gone off the deep end. Talks about starfish and giant jelly blobs from outer space. And about New England. He talks a lot about going to New England. " Dangerous

That Sound. And intriguing. One Of His clients - a weird guy with an Even weirder name, something like 'John John' or 'Paul Paul' - That Had Once Told him nothing is Worse Than Uncertainty, Until you find out the truth. And Then You can not forget. Like reading the Necronomicon

, Had the guy said. Could Takes only hope it wasn't true. But

Who Had Told Tsubasa? Arashi? 'And where is I now? " Tsubasa

fidget on the bench. 'Hm. I Might Be at an oldacquaintance's place. "

Takes His eyes rolled. I Should Have Known. 'Takki's? " Tsubasa

Stood up and stared at him. 'Do not say it! They can not find out! " Take

wanted to laugh, But the look on Tsubasa's eyes stopped him. Had I never found out who work for Takki and Tsubasa, But Were They sure as hell Some scary bastards. As I saw
Tsubasa, getting lost in the crowds, Exactly What I Had Wonderer Between Them Eat. They Were inseparable eleven ... But Things Change, Did not They? ***
Antarctica

So, crazy people, and people telling him to stop digging. Take gulped. This sound bad. I Had Heard Rumours about the snowy continent. About What Had been there. About What Was CThere still HTMLXC
.

I still felt I WAS Something missing, though.

He Went To find historical car. It cost him a fortune in bus fares, pero at least historical car and I HAD WAS safe enough gas to drive back to Jun's place.

I rang the doorbell and let him in June this time. 'Hi, Jun.'

There Was a half-done crossword on the coffee table and an empty tea cup. A dirty

tea cup. Out of character for Jun.

'Hi, Here. " 'So ... I know this is big. I know you only ended up in the Himalayas by chance - maybe an old closet door? Like That Time in Florida? With the weird chameleogator? But ... if you want me to lie, I want the truth. I Deserve

the truth. "

'You can not handle the truth, "June Said with way too much sadness in His voice.

'At least a bit of it. Do you trust me? " His voice faltered.
Keep it together, you idiot. Grabbed June
And Then Takes His coat's. 'You want the truth? I'll show you the truth. Let's go. But do not say I did not warn you. " ***



They left the city behind soon enough And Then It Was the glory of the countryside at night. Could I imagine the summer cicadas' melody and the fresh grass. Could I take a holiday, Could I? Maybe in June and Shun invite along - Yamapi events. Them I Had not seen in ages. Did June speak at all DURING the first hour. I hummed and occasionBurst Into ally bitter laughter, But Used To Take WAS Jun's erratic Behavior When stressed out. After

an hour or so of silence, Jun finally spoke. 'The first time we ran Into Them WAS two years ago. We Were in this tiny town, Quaramonte City, and somehow, we ran Into a group of Japanese Tourists. We hit if off. We Thought They Were college students, But They Turned Out to Be the Same thing behind we were. " Take

Nodder. 'So you guys are rivals? " 'Of sorts. I've never seen a more disorganized group in my life, Toma. I know everybody says We Are scarily close, But I Rather Have That INSTEAD of the fuzzy Those guys felt loyalty. That Time We Won, But it wasn't over. When we got back to Japan ... "takes Jumped i

No historical seat. 'The saltshakers Happened! You had Open a Door to a Different Dimension, Had not you? "

'How did you find out That? " Take

smirk. 'You're bad at Keeping Secrets. Plus, I Bought a new anti-gun werewolf. " June

hit the steering wheel. "Those guys ... The Older you get, the more you blabber."

'That Was the first time, wasn't it? "

'Yeah. Our second time saved They asses, I Must Admit. Never interrupt a vampire's honeymoon, Even if they're sparkling. " Take

laughed. I Had That mistake made eleven, only interrupted the vampires I Were Tortured French aristocrats. 'And this time? "

'We Were on a job. They Turned Out to Be Our PARTNErs. It all Went downhill Once We Arrived at the camp. That I'll never forget, Toma. Never. "

'Can I ask ...? "

'No. This is as far as I can tell you now. " ***



The house Looked Positively ancient and Slightly Disturbing. And when to the door Open and Takes found out who the owner WAS, I've realized That It Was a perfect match.

'matchy-san, "I Bowed.

Stood The three of them to be in the dark. Were all lights off and all windows closed Were. I Knew Were June matchy and whispering, But I Could catch all WAS
stuff like 'fish eyes'
and
'tentacles'
and

Innsmouth.

'Why did you bring him here? " somebody sneered.June

Shrugged And Then Turn the lights on. I Pointed at Toma. 'He's an idiot WHO WANTS the truth, i have to stop him. "

The Dude from KAT-TUN huffed. 'He's not a freak show. "

'I know. But I do not want to ... you know jack. " 'Go crazy? Of course, But what about him, Then? We can not just parade him around like Some cautionary tale? I Deserve Better Than That. " 'I know He Does! But ... Would not forgive myself if I ended up flying takes to Antarctica and caught up in this mess. I think I can Avoid That if I show him ... ' ' Fuck you. What's the problem if somebody else ...? He's a grown-up, I Can Make His own choices. "

'Look, Kame, ifCould you go back in time and Avoid What Happened, Would you, Would not you? "

'Well, yes but ... I do not want him to. He's not a freak show. "

spoke matchy, 'Just let him see Take, Kamenashi-kun. "

Kame - That Was him so, then - stomped out of the room and Then Turn Off the Lights in June again. Take

WAS getting more and more curious. 'Okay, There is going to be green vomit Involved? " I Asked, But The atmosphere WAS too heavy for light jokes. June

dragged him down the hallway and stopped in front of a mahogany door. 'Go in. "

'You're not coming? " June

shook His Head. 'I've seen enough. "

saw the moon takes one of enter-throughThen the windows and I saw Kame get out of the room with a tray on His Hands. The food takes Had not Been Touched and caught a glance of a figure hunched inside the room, closed the door But Kame quickly. I Looked

haunted. June Took His Hands off the tray. 'Go to sleep, Kame. "

'I do not want to. "

June I Did not look like much Slept Either Had, But Did not mention Take That.

'Look, I can not sleep Either But at least I try, "June said.

'But what if Something Happens? "

'There's nothing we CAN do about it. " Take

Stayed silent. I felt like an intruder. In FACT, I WAS very much.

Kame smile. 'But at least I can try. " CHT
MLXC And Then, Then it clicked. Innsmouth, New England. Very close to Dunwich. And very, very close to Arkham.

Miskatonic University, home to one of the Few copies of the Necronomicon

. Guys

barricaded in Their rooms. Guys Who Talk On and on about Being underwater. Tentacles.


Fish.
.

'Okay, I give up. I do not need to see, "Take said. June

let the tray fall and Hugged him. 'It's better this way,' he Whisperer.

'I'ma sensitive man, Jun. If this upsets you guys like this ... maybe it's better if I stay out of this. I can spin Some lie about the Eye of Argon to the guys at the University. " June
smile. 'Thanks for the trust, Toma. " Take
laughed. 'You Deserve It. "


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